Apple Messiah Steve Jobs, who brought the company out of its relative slumber in the 90s to a company to be reckoned with, for his work for the past year, has earned a whole dollar. Yes, somewhere out there is a check from Apple to Steve Jobs bearing a single-digit to compensate him for a spectacular year.

But don't be sad for old Steve yet. According to Forbes, he is one of the richest men on earth, but his wealth comes from his stock options and not his regular salary. Many other of Apple's executives received some hefty bonuses for their performance, a year after the company's board said its top executives were being underpaid. Still, there's no love for Steve.

Maybe I'll approach Steve one day when I see him walking down the street and I'll hold my mighty, crisp Washington bill in front of his face and he will bow down and do as I say. Maybe, just maybe, I'll get him to name a special edition iPod after me: The Divine Almighty, and when you touch the clickwheel, it screams my name and turns an eerie purple glow. And then I'll rename the company to 'Snapple' just to shake things up a bit and get us involved in a dramatic copyright infringement suit with those fiery fruit guys, the verdict of which will shake the foundation of the nation. I'll also have to start calling him 'Blow' just for the fun of it. Yeah, maybe ... just, maybe.